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How This Introvert uses the Power of Letting Go to Sell and Persuade

I have been selling my group speaking, voice and leadership presence courses and coaching for decades, longer than some of you may have been alive. If you ask me what my secret is, I will tell you it is the power that comes when I detach from the outcome during a sales conversation.

Detaching from the outcome means not having to make every sale and seeking to enroll only those who are right to work with me.

In my 20s, I dated a man named Dell who was a master salesman. He had a forceful personality and never took no for an answer. In the most congenial way, Dell could keep talking to people until they bought whatever he was selling. I was awed by his sales skills, but could not do what he did. When I tried to be forceful at sales, people would back away.

In my 30s, I studied class enrollment techniques with Sandy, another masterful saleswoman. She too had an extraverted personality and just kept pushing at people until they gave in and signed up. I couldn’t do that either. I just irritated people.

What I did learn from Dell and Sandy was how to ask the right questions to find out what people really want and actually need. That is always step 1. As an introvert, I have always known how to listen. That is step 2. Once I know what people are looking for, it is pretty easy to respond and share what I do that fits their needs. That is step 3.

These 3 steps became the basis of my introverted-style sales process. However, I found that my success in selling my programs is almost completely dependent on my attitude about making the sale and whether I am pushing out energy at people or receiving in energy.

If I have the attitude that I need to make this sale; and I push energy at someone to try to convince him to sign up, he inevitably pulls back from the conversation and does not buy. If I have the attitude of detachment from the outcome and leave him free to choose what is best for him, most often he will sign up for something. When I am letting go of the outcome, people don’t feel pushed or pressured and they can choose what they want to do.

I like to explain it this way.  Human interactions work off of positive and negative poles, assertion and reception.  Think of it as yang and yin energy. The degree to which one person pushes requires the other person to pull back.  Conversely, if one person lays back and offers but stays in receptive energy, the other can come forward. This is why introverts make such great sales people! Introverts are able to receive more easily and listen deeply.

If you are not clear what an introvert is, look at these articles at FastCompany or Huffington Post

My sales style is very introverted and may not be right for everyone. It is based on:

  1. my curiosity to figure out what people really want and need
  2. my ability to clearly explain what options they have for working with me to achieve their goals
  3. my commitment to get out of their way and let them decide what is best for them.

No push, no force, no selling.

If you’d like a little more about this push/pull theory, visit my blogpost on helping people hear your messages.

Not everyone I talk with signs up as my client; but the ones who do are great to work with because they really want what I have to offer and they are delighted with what I give them. Happy clients! Happy me!

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